How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
