i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom