wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.