I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
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we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
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Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?