I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
