It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Dicks are not precious.
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