My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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