his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
