whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
