I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
