I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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