Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize