Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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