I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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