His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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