glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
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I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
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I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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