You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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