...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
