Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I use my feet as sexual weapons
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
