Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
