Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
