Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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