she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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