i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So squirting runs in the family.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
