Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
