I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
