And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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