if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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