508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
