I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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