..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
