I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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