I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
