New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
