i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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