I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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