The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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