Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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