I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
