I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
