i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
