I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you mean i was at the winter classic?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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