My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
