I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You are the jesus of drinking
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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