I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
