i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize