awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
