no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize