would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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