her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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