He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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