Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.