when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
