New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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