I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
