i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
