Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
