I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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