matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
