Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
