who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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