you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
